Greg's creation

This is one of many jokes and humorous articles I collected, mainly from USENET and similar sources in the early to mid 1990s. They're really not very interesting nowadays.

From adagio!unido!Germany.EU.net!mcsun!uknet!mucs!mccuts!zzassgl Wed Aug 19 19:37:25 MST 1992 Article: 27949 of alt.folklore.computers Path: adagio!unido!Germany.EU.net!mcsun!uknet!mucs!mccuts!zzassgl From: zzassgl@uts.mcc.ac.uk (Geoff Lane) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Need a copy of Creation of World in IBM JCL Message-ID: <5675@mccuts.uts.mcc.ac.uk> Date: 18 Aug 92 14:10:52 GMT References: <5520@mccuts.uts.mcc.ac.uk> Organization: Manchester Computing Centre, Manchester, England, M13 9PL. Lines: 89 Status: RO In article <5520@mccuts.uts.mcc.ac.uk> zzassgl@uts.mcc.ac.uk (Geoff Lane) writes: > >I used to have a listing of an IBM JCL job which described the creation of >the world in terms of IBM JCL commands. Does anyone have a copy they can >send me? > >Thanks, >-- >Geoff. Lane. Janet: zzassgl@uk.ac.mcc.uts >UTS Sys Admin, Manchester Computing Centre, Oxford Rd, Manchester, M13 9PL Well, I've been given an old printed copy of the card deck and so I now can reply to my own post. A number of others have asked for a copy so I've included it below. There is no indication of the author or when/where it was originally published (if it ever was.) //CREATION JOB (0000,EARTH),'GOD',PRTY=13,RESTART=EDEN,TIME=1440 //* /*SETUP DISK=PRIMAL //* //JOBLIB DD DSN=UNIVERSE,DISP=(OLD,KEEP) //* //* FOR EXTENDED DOCUMENTATION ON THIS JOB REFER TO MEMBER //* BOOK.ONE, CHAPTER,ONE OF SYSDOC FILE WORD.OF.GOD //* TAMPER WITH THIS JOB AT YOUR OWN EXTREME RISK! //* //DAYONE EXEC PGM=IEBGENER //VOID DD DSN=CHAOS //DAY DD DSN=LIGHT //NIGHT DD DSN=DARKNESS //SYSIN DD * LET THERE BE LIGHT, AND LET DARKNESS BE A SEPARATE DATASET! /* //DAYTWO EXEC PGM=SORT //FIRM DD DSN=HEAVEN,DCB=DSORG=PO //WATERS1 DD DSN=HEAVEN(ABOVE) //WATERS2 DD DSN=HEAVEN(BELOW) //SYSIN DD * LET THE FIRMANENT, CALLED HEAVEN, PARTITION THE WATERS! /* //DAYTHREE EXEC PGM=MERGE //MERGEIN DD DSN=BELOW //MERGEOUT DD DSN=DRY.LAND //EARTH DD DSN=DRY.LANE //BELOW DD DSN=SEAS //FLORA DD DSN=GRASSES.HERBES // DD DSN=FRUIT.TREES //SYSIN DD * SET THE EARTH CONCATENATE GRASS AND TREES /* //DAYFOUR EXEC PGM=IEBUPDTE //SUN DD DSN=LIGHT //MOON DD DSN=LIGHT //STARS DD DSN=LIGHT //SYSIN DD * LET THERE BE PANEL LIGHTS TO INDICATE THE STATUS OF THE UNIVERSE! /* //DAYFIVE DD PGM=IEHMOVE //WHALES DD DSN=MOVING.CREATURE //FOWL DD DSN=MOVING.CREATURE //SYSIN DD * BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY UNTIL OVERFLOW /* //DAYSIX EXEC PGM=IEBCOPY //MAN DD DSN=GOD.IMAGE //MALE DD DSN=MAN(ADAM) //FEMALE DD DSN=MAN(EVE) //SYSABEND DD DSN=ETERNAL.HELL //SYSIN DD * ALL THE DATASETS NOW EXIST. LET MAN TEND THE CONSOLE AND REPLENISH THE LINE PRINTER AND KEEP HIS MITTS OUT OF THE MICROCODE! /* //DAYSEVEN EXEC PGM=ENTROPHY,COND=((IT IS GOOD,DAYSIX),ONLY) //TIME DD DSN=ETERNITY //SYSIND DD * NOW LET THE SYSTEM RUN, THE PANEL LIGHTS TWINKLE, AND THE DISKS FILL WITH DATA! /* // Thats all folks! -- Geoff. Lane. Janet: zzassgl@uk.ac.mcc.uts UTS Sys Admin, Manchester Computing Centre, Oxford Rd, Manchester, M13 9PL From adagio!unido!Germany.EU.net!mcsun!uknet!stl!bnrgate!corpgate!news.utdallas.edu!wupost!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!menudo.uh.edu!usenet Thu Aug 20 11:33:43 MST 1992 Article: 27964 of alt.folklore.computers Path: adagio!unido!Germany.EU.net!mcsun!uknet!stl!bnrgate!corpgate!news.utdallas.edu!wupost!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!menudo.uh.edu!usenet From: sears@tree.egr.uh.edu (Paul S. Sears) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: Need a copy of Creation of World (heres one in VMS) Message-ID: <1992Aug19.144434.19470@menudo.uh.edu> Date: 19 Aug 92 14:44:34 GMT References: <1992Aug18.023355.11955@news.columbia.edu> Sender: usenet@menudo.uh.edu (USENET News System) Reply-To: sears@tree.egr.uh.edu Organization: University of Houston Lines: 84 Nntp-Posting-Host: sierra.egr.uh.edu Status: RO In article <1992Aug18.023355.11955@news.columbia.edu> lasner@watsun.cc.columbia.edu (Charles Lasner) writes: =>In article <5520@mccuts.uts.mcc.ac.uk> zzassgl@uts.mcc.ac.uk (Geoff Lane) writes: =>> =>>I used to have a listing of an IBM JCL job which described the creation of =>>the world in terms of IBM JCL commands. Does anyone have a copy they can =>>send me? => =>Since you don't have it anymore, I guess it was: => =>DISP=(OLD,DELETE) => =>cjl I don't have one for JCL, but I did have one for VMS... (This is a log of the session God used to create this wonderful world...) ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Universal VAX 8900 Username: GOD Password: Welcome to universal VAX timesharing God $ SET PROC/PROT=ALL $ SET PROC/NAME="I'm the God" $ CREATE/DIR <WORLD> And there was light... $ CREATE/DIR <WORLD.EARTH> $ CREATE/DIR <WORLD.EARTH.PARADISE> $ SET DEF <WORLD.EARTH.PARADISE> $ CR ADAM.MAN Adam is made of clay. ^Z $ CR EVE.WOMEN Eve is made of Adam. ^Z $ CR DEVIL.EVIL Devil is evil. ^Z $ Hmmm... $ CREATE/DIR <WORLD.HELL> $ COPY DEVIL.* <WORLD.HELL> $ DEL DEVIL.* $ COPY *.* <WORLD.EARTH> $ DEL *.* $ SET DEF <WORLD> $ DEL <WORLD.EARTH.PARADISE> $ RUN <GAMES>WAR Play with ?: <WORLD> ^C $ DATE 4-JUL-1776 14:24:53 $ RUN <GAMES>WAR Play with ?: <WORLD> *CRASH* *BANG* *WHAM* Huh? $ DATE 24-DEC-1986 23:41:33 $ DIR <WORLD.EARTH> %DIRECT-E-OPENIN, Error opening <WORLD> -W-NOSUCHFILE, No such file ??? $ DIR/SIZ <WORLD.HELL> ADAM.MAN 1 ALICE.WOMAN 1 ARTHUR.MAN 1 ^O $ DEL <WORLD> Oh well... $ LO User GOD logged out -- Paul S. Sears * sears@uh.edu (NeXT Mail OK) The University of Houston * suggestions@tree.egr.uh.edu (NeXT Engineering Computing Center * comments, complaints, questions) NeXT System Administration * DoD#1967 '83 NightHawk 650SC >>> SSI Diving Certification #755020059 <<< "Programming is like sex: One mistake and you support it a lifetime."