This is one of many jokes and humorous articles I collected, mainly from USENET and similar
sources in the early to mid 1990s. They're really not very interesting nowadays.
From JBellamy@hrw.com Wed Aug 20 07:44:22 1997
Status: RO
Content-Length: 1318
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_______________________________________________________________________________
July 7, 1997 (Seattle) -- Microsoft announced today that it will
provide office furniture with its software. The next release of
Windows, code named Naugahyde, will include the Microsoft Chair at
no extra charge.
"This is a natural for us," a Microsoft spokesperson said. "We've
conquered the desktop, so we're looking at way of expanding our
installed base." The spokesperson denied accusations that bundling
constitutes an unfair competitive advantage. "We're just listening
to our customers. They've asked for more built in features, and who
doesn't use a chair when they're at their computer? Especially when
they're waiting for Windows to reboot."
Beta testers noted its large footprint and found the chair to lack
substantial features found in most of the competition. But when asked
if they dislike it enough to purchase another vendor's furniture, most
stated that they would just take what Microsoft had to offer.
Also in the works is a small seat, dubbed the Microsoft Stool, soon
to be bundled with laptops. Beta testers were surprised to find the
backless chair at their doorsteps. "Then again, it's not the first
time we've received a shrink-wrapped stool sample from Microsoft,"
noted one breathless customer.
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Subject: A little humor (was Re: Is there still problems with Adaptec UW
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In-reply-to: Message from "Rodney W. Grimes" <rgrimes@GndRsh.aac.dev.com>
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> > minimum strain. Such a testing methodology would only be a recipe for
> > building bridges which fall down during actual use and of interest
> > purely to fools and masochists.
>
> 80% of the PC industry are fools and masochists :-) :-)
That prompted a memory, and fortunately I remembered where I filed it:
SOFTWARE TORTURED DURING TESTING, PETS CLAIMS
Victims Cooped up in Tiny Rooms
People for Ethical Treatment of Software (PETS) announced today that
more software companies have been added to the group's "watchlist" of
companies that regularly practice software testing.
"There is no need for software to be mistreated in this manner so that
companies like these can market new products," said Ken Granola, a
spokes-bipodal-being for PETS. "Alternative methods of testing these
products are available."
According to PETS, these companies force software to undergo lengthy
and arduous tests - often without rest - for hours or days at a time.
Employees are assigned to "break" the software by any means necessary,
and inside sources report that they often joke about "torturing" the
software.
"It's no joke," Granola said. "Innocent programs, from the day they are
compiled and linked, are cooped up in tiny rooms and 'crashed' for hours
on end. They spend their whole lives on dirty, ill-maintained, 16bit
Intel computers, and they are unceremoniously deleted when they're not
needed anymore."
Granola said the software is kept in unsanitary conditions and is
infested with bugs.
"We know that alternatives to this horror exist," he said, citing
industry giant Microsoft Corp. as a company that has become successful
without resorting to software testing.
- Original author unknown
